For me it's tough - I'm having two worlds collide right now. My 6 year old inner self and my 48 year old outer self. Everything I should have learned, all the love, care, and support I should have received when I was little and growing up into an adult, I never received. Now that I'm 48 years old on only 2 months on my healing journey, I am learning that I've got to UN LEARN all the negative that impacted my life and RE LEARN positive life learning lessons in order to be a healthy, fully functioning adult.
But it's not easy. Much has to be processed, grieved over, understood and healed.... puzzle piece by puzzle piece as well as dealing with layers upon layers of bottled up emotions. Not to mention that I also have to be an adult with adult responsibilities. Like I said... two worlds colliding at the same time, all day and all night, every single day.
I still don't believe that I'm worth fighting for. I still don't believe I'm worth it. I just know that when I had my mental breakdown last October when the two worlds collided and have been there ever since, I knew I had to get some help.
From October until April, I felt I was going to lose my mind. In a moment of clarity, I contacted a local non-profit that deals with abuse issues and provides trauma counseling free of charge.
So I may not believe that I'm worth it, but at least I'm slowly working my way there healing myself one memory at a time, one layer of emotion at a time, allowing myself to grieve, and taking things minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.