I have been doing this since I was a little girl. And now that I'm edging ever so closely to 50, I'm still doing the same thing. Except now that therapy has started and I'm working on healing from my past, I'm eating more and more.
So what can I do? I looked it up about the correlation between sexual abuse and compulsive over eating and found a wealth of information. It seems that some survivors develop some kind of eating disorder to cover up the pain of the abuse.
I have doing this for so long now, I don't know how to stop. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I eat no matter what's going on with me. And it's coming at a price. My physical health is not doing well.
So I am going to have to start seeing what my counselor can do to help me in stopping this. Because I'm not sure how or where to start. Stopping and old habit is very hard. Food to me is like sex, drugs, or alcohol to everyone else. And I'm out of control. Somehow, someway, I've got to figure out a way to stop.
So that's going to be the topic of this weeks counseling session - how to stop compulsive over eating. I just hope... really hope... that she can be able to give me some advice on how and where to start. If not, then I don't know what I'm going to do.