"I think a large part of my PTSD is because of the lack of care and support after telling people aboutmy abuse. People who were supposed to care for and protect me"
Wow.... was not expecting that. For the last 5 years, I have been sober, I have a home, I have things in my home, my bills are paid on time every month, and I go shopping every week to get groceries for me and my husband. It's so nice to know that they choose only to see who I used to be not who I am now - a survivor who underwent extreme abuse and trauma.
My dad's side of the family refuse to acknowledge that he ever sexually, verbally, mentally, emotionally, and physically abused me. They hide behind the veil that "God is the answer to it all. He has you in his loving arms." Really? Some love. I spent many a night a a little girl, crying out to God asking him to please save me from the abuse. He never answered. Instead he allowed the abuse to go on to the extremes for the first 18 years of my life.
So because I'm so verbal about what happened to me and by whom, I have been shunned, verbally trashed, and down right disregarded as a human being. In their eyes? I AM NOTHING BUT A DOPE FIEND TRYING TO HURT EVERYONE IN HER PATH.
So it's hard. Very hard to not have the support I wanted. I wanted more of my family to back me up but sadly, that isn't going to happen. As I result, I have severed all contact with them for the time being. Down the road, when I've done some healing, then I may visit the notion of allowing them back in. But ONLY if they have changed their outlook of me. If they haven't, then they will no longer be in my life.
I've had 40 years of toxic people in my life. It's time to get rid of them all, and surround myself with loving, compassionate and understanding people. It is these kinds of people I now call my family. For without their love, compassion and understanding, I would be lost.