You see, when the darkness appears, it comes to stay for awhile. How long? Who knows. But when it appears, there is no daylight, there is no happiness, there is no sunshine anywhere. No matter what I do or try, the darkness keeps me surrounded not allowing anything bright to come into my life.
And I'm lost as to how to defend myself against it. I'm already feeling the edges of it already. I'm sleeping longer. I'm wanting to walk away from life. I just want to curl up into a ball, telling the world "You deal with it. I can't" to whatever "it" may be.
So God help me for me the darkness fells much stronger this time around and Oh God, I'm not ready and not strong enough to protect myself against it. Why must it come at this time of year? Why must it make it's presence known now? Why won't it just let me be to move on with my life without interrupting it? I just don't understand. And I'm lost. I'm really, really lost.